[quote="drrionelli"]Perhaps I might spread a bit of clarity on this, given that I live in the US.
In America, it is felt to be a courtesy to make eye contact with whom you are speaking. In fact, it's considered respectful. It shows that you have, or are giving, attention to the other person. Now, certainly, we don't stare at one another the entire time that we're in conversation. But, we do most likely make more eye contact than many in cultures other than our own.
Another thing...America was founded on the idea that persons are equal. Yes, it is true that some social strata occur, but that is not the same as a [i]caste[/i] separation. Therefore, in America, nobody is your "superior" and you need not avert your gaze when speaking to people because of their financial, political or social standing. If I had the chance to meet with President Bush, I would be [i]expected [/i]to look him in the eye. After all, he puts on his pants the same way I put mine on!
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There is a stark difference between Japan and the US on this issue. Frankly, I think it's unnatural to look someone directly in the eye in a conversation. Consider an animal like a dog. If it's barking at you, the last thing you want to do is look at it directly, else it'd be construed as a direct challenge. That is a proof that, although America may be accustomed to doing this, it's unnatural nonetheless.
What I disagree with the most is the believe in America that if you don't look at a person you're talking to, you invariably have something to hide.
Personally, when I'm in a conversation with someone, and need to do some thinking, I often look away. To the zealots in America, that automatically means I've got something to hide.
[quote="drrionelli"]
As to the handshake, well, in past days when America was largely an agrarian society, if you shook hands firmly, it showed that you were a hard-working person because you had developed strength. Some people do take this to extremes, however, and squeeze a bit too much. Old traditions die hard![/quote]
The firm handshake argument is taken to the hilt in America, especially in big companies. That is one of the main criteria used to determine who is management material at job interviews. I appreciate your historical perspective on this. Unfortunately, in the present day, such believe is antiquated and should be retired. The argument just doesn't hold water anymore.